my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
