You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
