So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
