well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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