I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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