something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
