Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
