There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
