Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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