The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize