Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
