Christians are straight up FREAKS
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
