So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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