It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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