i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
