I'm really into asian looking animals
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize