hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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