he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
