We're like a lot better than the average bears
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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