none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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