I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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