dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize