even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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