So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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