Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
