ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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