Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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