The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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