Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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