You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
