i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My life is pants optional.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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