I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
