yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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