I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
