Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
