rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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