I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
