If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
