I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
