Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
