I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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