I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
