Having a random hookup so left but love u
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
