and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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