I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
