so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
