So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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