when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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