If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
