There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
