Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize