WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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