yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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