terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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