I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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