why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
