awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
