So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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