No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
