allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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