We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
