Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
