i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
