just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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