walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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